On Twigs and Love

In the city of Salzburg, the locals like to pick up a small twig and throw it into the shaft of an abandoned salt mine. Two or three months later they return and extract the twig. Which emerges utterly transformed – covered in sparkling crystals; it looks amazing. It doesn’t matter what kind of twig you use, the result is always the same. The twig has been crystallised. Of course we know how this happens: the moist air of the mine is filled with tiny salt particles which attach themselves to whatever is left in there long enough. 

The French writer, Stendhal thinks that a related kind of crystallization occurs when we fall in love. Someone who is fairly nice comes along and gets suspended – as it were – in the moist, salty atmosphere of our imaginations. We encrust this person with all our hopes, our longings and ideals. They are transformed by our imaginations from the perfectly decent human being which they are into something astonishing – the best person who has ever lived, the answer to all our problems. This is the process of falling in love. 

If we get together with this person, the rough and tumble of life tends to reverse the process. Gradually we get to see the other person as they really are, not as our fantasies have made them. The magic wears off. We toss them aside. And then along comes another interesting twig…

 This was an excerpt from "On falling for the wrong person" in the Books as therapy website (http://www.booksastherapy.com/), that I frequently like to read. The idea is exemplified perfectly by the twig and its crystallization process. I think the key idea here isn't that we shouldn't love other people, but rather for us to understand that in early stages of a budding relationship, one has a tendency to- a word I think I made up- glitterize the object of their affections. To basically sprinkle them with mental glitter. Making things very pretty and ideal, in an unrealistic way.

I'd like to add that the twig, the uncrusted, uncrystallized twig is just as beautiful. In fact I feel that when you finally get to see another person for who they really are, with all the rawness and scratches and vulnerabilities, as beautiful or ugly as it may be...and they trust you enough to let you see those...and you are able to trust them enough to see you figuratively (and I'm stressing on the word figuratively lol) naked...that is, in my opinion the most intimate and sacred experience one can have with another person.
What does it matter if you are in love with a superman?
Everybody can love superman
What counts is how you can see past all the defenses and masks and embrace a human for what they truely are.
Perhaps, that is love.