Motivation and personality. Abe Maslow

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_x5xSvYASQ

Surat El Kahf observation

A few observations from surah al kahf. I've been pondering on those for quite sometime, now it's time to write them down.

Moses observes 3 things.
1. An act of destruction/vandalism
2. A killing of a child
3. Response to hostility by an act of seeming compassion.

What are his reactions?
1. Exclamation at the evilness of this act; making a hole in an apparently good boat in an attempt to drown the people in it

2. Horror (and probably disgust) at how one could murder such an innocent soul for no reason.

3. Questioning and confusing at how the man reacted so paradoxically. After being rudely denied a meal the man goes and fixes a wall.

Those 3 themes are themes we experience almost everyday. Exclamation, horror and disgust and confusion/questioning.
Everyday you have experienced at least one of those.

How could the horror from witnessing the murder of a child be ever neutralized in around 2 ayahs? Well that's exactly what happened. Spectacular the way it is written so eloquently and right to the point.

I would have expected a 2 hour explanation for an act like this! But no.
This goes to show something.
It goes to show that everything in bayenah (clear) in the eyes of Allah swt. It is all simple and clear as to why unfortunate things happen. To us, they seem so complex and emotionally charged that we have no sense of objectivity whatsoever in thinking about them. And I think it isnt wrong or bad to feel this way of course. If I had been in the same position of Moses and I saw this man doing this I would be in utter and unspeakable shock at the blatancy and unjustified actions being taken.
As a child reading or hearing this part of Surat al kahf I'd say to dad "Why didnt Moses pretend that it was OK so that this Khedr guy teaches him some more?!"
I was frustrated because I've always wanted to know what would have happened if Moses just did what the man told him and kept quiet, maybe I would have learnt something new.
It reached to a point in which while I heard it being read I would pray in my mind "Please God, make Moses stay quiet" Eventhough I knew fully well that the book has already been written and it was impossible that the plot was going to change.
I kinda laugh at that now!

The beautiful thing is, Moses's human-ness and impatience is the lesson here. It is the lesson telling us to BE PATIENT. If Allah commands you of something, obey and be patient 'la3alakom tataqatoon" In the hopes that you will be God fearing and more pure people. But we dont obey, first we question. I think questioning is a great skill Allah has given us but sometimes it is the reason that stops us from reaching better levels of spirituality and understanding of the world around us.

I think Moses's story will always be one that resonates deeply in my life, ever since I was young up until now, everytime I read it I remember patience, obeying and not being so impulsive, perhaps something good will come out of it.

Waterdrop

The amount of anguish I feel right now is incredible. It is that feeling of having something to say but somehow your 'broca's area' has difficulty firing in the right sequence to express it. And the amygdala is screaming like a siren over there. Amygdala is a wonderful thing, with an equally beautiful name. It is the little part of our brains that are involved with our social interactions, also with memory and fears. It is said that the more connections a person has, the bigger their amygdala. A larger amygdala is associated with greater emotional intelligence, enabling greater societal integration and cooperation with others. Well isn't that fascinating.
The amygdala also has connection with personal space when speaking to people. 
A person who has been de-amygdala-ized (I think I jus made that word up) has no sense of appropriate personal space. So they wouldn't feel particular discomfort when a stranger closes into their personal space and enters the zone we only restrict for people we are intimate and close to. 
It is definitely an intriguing little organ, this amygdala. 
But I think going on about its physiological function isnt the main reason I came to write here..I am merely intellectualizing. Intellectualizing is a brilliant defence mechanism many academic people use. Defined as 

'Intellectualization is a 'flight into reason', where the person avoids uncomfortable emotions by focusing on facts and logic. The situation is treated as an interesting problem that engages the person on a rational basis, whilst the emotional aspects are completely ignored as being irrelevant."

I need not say, that it is my dear old Freud that first began to recognize this defence mechanism and clearly notes it in his book On Negation.

The problem with being a drop of water that is avoiding the drain of the bathtub is that no matter how huge the bathtub is, eventually you'll have to pass that drain. Whether you like it or not you'll have to fall down that drain. It is probably the best thing that could happen to you (as a drop of water). But you put off coming near it or talking about it and even thinking of it...because of the aura of unknown-ness and unsure-ness. Not from the side of the waterdrop, the waterdrop is quite certain..but the waterdrop is unsure of whether it is the right time and whether the trip will be safe. Also the other waterdrops who are clinging close by on the surface, how will the other waterdrops react? Some waterdrops merge together to form a bigger waterdrop. Sometimes when enough waterdrops merge a huge mass of water is formed with so much power and strength that it could wipe off an entire country. You've heard of tsunamis? 
A huge mass of waterdrops could even influence the entire earth.
Waterdrops have a lot of power, especially when merged together, like Marianne Williamson said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"

Banquets.

Hafiz, an old Persian poet said: "If you realized that the world is God's banquet and you realize that you were just one of the guests how would you view everyone else?"

Because everyone here on earth is here by invitation from God. It doesn't matter who they are; the Jew, the Hindu, Buddhists, the Christian, the atheist...everybody has been invited here. And their life is a full life. You know, we see people at points in time and we assume that this is all there is to their lives. We see a rich and successful man and we assume that he's always been like this. We see a broken person addicted to drugs and we think that is all there is to his story.  Because most exchanges between humans are utilitarian, an exchange of needs. We use people and we honour things. If you look at how people treat things in their house for example they don't want to break the vase so they never knock the vase on purpose. But there are people who just push other people out of the way.
So we honour things and we use people. Shouldn't it be vice versa?
Afterall, if each time you are about to act out of annoyance or think condescendingly about someone, think of this banquet. You have been invited by Allah swt to come here...the other people with you have also been invited by Allah.
In any invitation from family/friends/in laws/boss we act with utmost courtesy when we are in someone else's home and we show gratitude and tolerance because we are guests, maybe if we remembered that we are guests on this earth we'd remember to honour those around us more and act with a little more courtesy.

Shiek Hamza Yusuf was speaking about this in a lecture I was watching yesterday and all day I had this image in my mind of me strolling through a huge banquet passing by the most diverse group of people. Some talking, some fighting, some dancing, some praying, some negotiating, some stealing, some kissing, some working, playing etc etc and each and every single one of them are guests in the same banquet. Even if they seem way too rich and glamorous or if they seem ignorant and impoverished. We are all in this place together and since I know that Allah is watching me (afterall, He is the one who invited us and graciously provided for us in so many ways) I feel much more self aware and more calm every time I have this image in my mind.

Spiders and Sabr

Salamu alikum,

 I realized that the Quran is full of truly beautiful analogies. Everytime I read it and I start to lose concentration I come across a really interesting analogy that re-captures my attention. I came across the analogy in surat al-ankabut (the spider). It is interesting the way the whole surah is called the spider when the spider is actually mentioned in one single verse. The rest of the Surah discusses other things. But the whole surah circulated around the idea of the spider's web.
Allah said that people who take other people as protectors, other than Allah is similar to the spider who builds himself a house. It goes on to describe how in fact this house is the flimsiest and weakest of houses, but only if they knew.
Analysing this was interesting and beautiful. Spiders have 2 kind of homes, a home that is like a tube, where they sleep. And a home that is for catching insects etc, the one most of us see, which is like a radiating array of fine strings arranged in a net-like manner. Once something hits the web, the vibrations reach the spider and he/she goes in to munch up the poor little ant/fly/whatever.
The tubular nest could be home in which we reside, our possessions. And the other concentric web is our work and careers.
If you read up about spider's silk you'll find out that it one of the most refined and tensile materials relatively. Only relatively. But in comparison to the actual world, they are indeed very flimsy. You could destroy a web in seconds by just sticking your finger into it.
So is the house and strength of the man who relies on material resources however fine or beautiful relatively; before the eternal reality they are as nothing. The spider's most cunning architecture cannot stand against
a wave of man's hand.

I liked that analogy quite alot and it is the kind of thing that'll stick to my mind. I hope I explained it clearly.

Other things I have observed today is how I need to become more tolerant and patient. In the masjid today, a lady was crowding in on me, I couldn't tolerate her even touching me. Everytime she moved an inch closer and her shoulder would touch mine I would lose my concentration and try to edge away.  I dont get it! I know  that in prayer we should be relatively close, but seriously if there is space then I guess you dont need to stick to the person right beside you.

I just wasnt comfortable. I dont like being close to people I dont particularly know or like. She also closed in on me during sujood that I could barely find a place to put my head. I was tempted to hiss in her face and tell her to back off (lol) but I kinda tried to keep myself calm. It was pretty hot in there, and there were kids running around and it was so easy to get irritated and want to run out of there in a huff but I tried to keep myself composed because it was all part of the 'sabr'. The Imam was talking about sabr and how sabr is one of the golden traits of a believer. That during all sorts of minor or major irritabilities of life, one must be patient. And not just any patience, but patience for the sake of Allah. 

وما صبرك إلا بالله 

God loves patient people. 

It is a minor incident and I'm sure we have annoying little things in each encounter of the day, but I just thought I'd mention it since it is the small things like these that matter when accumulated over time.

G'night :)

The power of crowds

All that I write about are things I have personally experienced, usually years after they have passed. Today's main theme is about something that happened a few years ago that gave me an interesting view on the topic of crowd psychology.
Why is it when an individual when standing alone could have a pretty individualized opinion, is socially inhibited, relatively "civil" in his/her behaviour and self conscious?
Then when you put that very same individual in a crowd suddenly he/she could transform into the whole unit he is within. His opinion becomes unified with the crowd, his actions could become very violent and very uninhibited and suddenly the person loses sense of self.  Rather, the person becomes THE CROWD.
He no longer feels like an individual anymore, in fact he speaks in the 'we' and not in the 'I'. His actions become synchronized with those around him. If others around him are crying, he too shall cry.
As if there's some sort of switch turning on as soon as a human joins a crowd. In sci-fi movies they often have this 'screen' which leads to a new dimension and as soon as the individual enters that screen everything is transformed. He becomes just one of the molecules of the whole 'mass' He is no longer the actual substance , he is just a molecule.
I have 2 wonderful examples, both just as moving. One was in a place during the time when the Egyptian revolutions first began. I think the name Tahrir square is overused and nowadays it has been associated with 'if you dont like anything, go there'. It wasnt exactly like that back then, it was quite a special place where sincere feelings of revolution stemmed. So basically being in the middle of the crowds, I felt something very strange. I felt that I had lost the sense of Wegdan. I no longer felt like it was about me...I felt that this was something quite huge aiming towards some great and noble purpose. Weird things went in my mind, I had never been in a crowd so large. And weirdly, even if you're surrounded by strangers, people would look at each other with smiles and approval as if to almost say "Yes, you're on our side"
You could do all sorts of things you wouldnt have done in the street normally, even though, those same people in the square were the same people in the street, only condensed.
You could become socially uninhibited and greet people and chant things and talk to random strangers and it wouldnt be weird. It seemed like it was a small little village and everyone knew everyone and it was very easy going.
You also experienced emotions but in a magnitude of many fold magnified. If you felt just a teeny bit patriotic, then around crowds you'd feel extremely patriotic.
I would like to understand why humans become so different in crowds. Subhan Allah, it is a remarkable phenomenon.
During the speeches of Martin Luther King and other great speakers when there would be HUGE crowds. You could get hundreds of thousands of people crying at the same time. Not because the words were emotional per se, but because emotion was magnified and infectious in crowds.
During talks by Les Brown, the amazing motivational speaker (whom I greatly admire his charisma) thousands of people would be pumped up with energy so much that they'd be literally roaring!
There is a great sense of empowerment in being in a crowd and Les Brown knows this and has been using this as his point of strength in organizing his talks.

A beautiful example and one that I wasnt fortunate enough to experience was during the concert of Andre Rieu, a legendary violinist during his open concert in Italy in 2008. I watched the whole concert online and even  though I wasnt in the crowd, I could see people's reactions in the crowd that I could feel I was in there as well. I completed watching it feeling extremely empowered and enlightened by the beauty of the music. It is remarkable how some violins and some opera singers could move your soul in such a profound way. People were brought to tears, people's whole lives were being played out in front of them, people remembering loved ones who had passed away or were far away. People reaching God and feeling spiritual. It was almost as if people were in a trance. Everyone knew what to do...if a certain tune came on they'd all synchronously clap or dance or do the same thing. No one told them what to do, but the power of the crowd as a sum somehow moved people to action.

It is an incredible phenomenon, the power of the crowds. I have listened to some sociology classes that discuss this but for this blog post I've just talked about what I personally experienced. Perhaps in the upcoming post I'll dig further into this from a more controlled and scientific point of view.