Human Phoenix

This little note started as a self planner, I had one thing in mind when I started and that was: I must change.

The reason was; I felt that little spark of motivation and energy was dimming. I observed myself submitting to laziness, slacking, procrastinating and in general feeling psychologically stale, a mind which resembles bread when it has been left out too long, it goes dull gray, dry and lifeless. Perhaps even with colourful fungal colonies sprouting here and there. But under this musty, crumbly mass, there is a deep desire to become rejuvenated.

The first step is awareness that you are in this state. This is not easy; when you have spent so long in monotonous ways, depressive thoughts and sluggish souls, it’s not so easy to see what’s under your nose, let alone see the staleness that lies in the crevices of your being. Now that I’m aware, I’m 50% done!

What an optimistic start!

I would spend endless hours thinking to myself…what on earth am I doing with my life?!

I’m not going to blame anyone or anything (including my medical career); I will blame myself for all my shortcomings.

Wouldn’t it be interesting to take an exam at the end of the year all about ‘evaluating just how much your life is decayed?’

The first question would be: enumerate 5 ways you have been an absolute slug (i.e. limp and useless)

Number one would be; having the thought ‘I know I should change, but I don’t know how and anyways, I’m too busy for that now I have ‘so and so’ to do and ‘so and so’ to talk to etc…

A close second would be: feeling the ability to erupt with potential, yet having too much inertia to get up and GO.

It’s frustrating when you feel that you’ve got something awesome inside you, yet for some reason you can’t identify what it is and/or you can’t get it OUT.

It’s one heck of a bottle neck, this phrase is nice because it’s very illustrative.

You know those Heinz ketchup bottles? the sauce is glued to the base, the bottle neck is narrow and when you shake the bottle attempting to push the gooey mass onto your chips, it often fails. Even thought YOU KNOW there is ketchup in there, nothing is coming out. If the bottle was not transparent, you would have thrown it away thinking it was empty.

Your potentials are the ketchup, the bottle and the neck are the way you convey and express your potentials. How long do you keep shaking your self in order to get those potentials out? And how transparent are you to SEE that you really do possess potential?

If your bottle is opaque and you fear from facing your self, you’ve probably thrown the bottle a long time ago.

But hang on, there are MANY bottles out there, I mean if you threw the ketchup bottle, you’ve got lots of stuff to use like anchovy sauce bottles, vinegar bottles even cologne bottles to use with your chips.

Anyhow, let’s get serious. Awareness is number one. It takes time and thought and seriousness. The best method I’ve come across is the SWOT analysis. This is a technique businesses use to assess their Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, this helps the business:

         ·            To become aware of and utilize their strengths to gain increased profit, market segment etc…

         ·            Realize their weaknesses so as to adopt the appropriate techniques to strengthen themselves in these faculties.

         ·            Realize their opportunities, so they can effectively plan for the future.

         ·            Detect the threats, allowing them to strategize, take precautions and adopt protective or eliminative mechanisms to overcome or avoid the threats.

This is smart right?

We can do this together and I bet you, after it, you’ll feel significantly more aware about yourself and your life. Sure, it may be hard to come up with enough and encompassing statements to write under each member of SWOT, but once you begin you’ll be one your way.

STRENGTHS: what am I good at? What have I done well consistently in my life? What do I love naturally? What do people most complement me about? Where do I feel most comfortable? What situations do I seem to take hold and feel good? Am I a budding scientist/musician/photographer/footballer/business man or woman etc*? Who are the amazing people in my life that add strength to me? What people add inspiration, constructive criticism, and positive feedback to my actions?

*forget ANY rules here; just flow with your mind, just for once.

WEAKNESSES: what subjects/fields have I found myself struggling in consistently? What do I feel weak and inadequate in? What kind of problems am I facing? What depresses me most? What things do I do, and I often feel guilty and miserable after it?

What skill do I see in those around me, yet I seem to lack? What do others say to me regarding my weaknesses?

How can I invigorate my weaknesses, turning them to neutral or to become strengths?

OPPORTUNITIES: if I cultivate a certain talent of mine, how much could it potentially benefit my life? Can I take a certain course/participate in an activity/travel somewhere/talk to someone etc about some thing that could positively impact my life and my career? What do I want my future to look like? What kind of person/ people would I want to be in my life? (Choice of friends, future partner *I mean marriage is a potential opportunity and then benefit (however if not chosen correctly it could be a threat then weakness ha-ha)

How can I make the BEST of every day?

THREATS: what are the things in my life that could potentially pull me down? (E.g. bad friends, bad partner, bad attitude), what are the things/habits/misconceptions I have that could damage my health/relationship with others/future? Who are the people in my life whom are a major source of negativity?

How can I protect myself from those threats and strategize to minimalise them?

Sit down at your own comfort, answer each question (and make up ones of your own). Write it down, this is a MUST. To wipe over all this dust in the sulci of you brain, you gotta physically WRITE IT.

SWOT analysis is just a start. The rest comes from the answers to your questions.

I’m pretty sure I’m not the only earthling to feel the need to change, or rather, rejuvenate!

To clear out the negative misconceptions and thoughts of laziness

To plan ahead with full determination

To RADIATE with energy

To find a good reason to wake up every morning

To help others realize themselves through you

To treat failure as a form of feedback

Finally, those who choose to take the journey of self development, then I say hop onto this boat. You can be the human phoenix!

Your past self is burnt in ashes

You’re now a new bird, in the freshness of youth, power and energy

An emblem of immortality and hope to the world…that’s the human phoenix.

A phoenix is a mythical bird with a colorful plumage and a tail of gold and scarlet . It has a 500 to 1000 year life-cycle, near the end of which it builds itself a nest of twigs that then ignites; both nest and bird burn fiercely and are reduced to ashes, from which a new, young phoenix arises, reborn anew to live again...

It is an emblem of immortality and of change. The past turns to ashes and a new soul and a new future begins

Light that will never go out.

AMID THE MULTITUDE of conflicting opinions and theories, and caught in the struggle of existence, where shall the confused truth-seeker turn to find the path that leads to peace unending? To what refuge shall he fly from the uncertainties and sorrows of change?
Will he find peace in pleasure? Pleasure has its place, and in its place, it is good; but as an end, as a refuge, it affords no shelter. He who seeks it as such does but increase the anguish of life; for what is more fleeting than pleasure, and what is more empty than the heart that seeks satisfaction in so transient a thing? There is, therefore, no abiding refuge in pleasure.



Will he find peace in wealth and worldly success?
Wealth and worldly success have their place, but they are changeable and uncertain possessions, and he who seeks them for themselves alone will be burdened with many anxieties and cares. When the storms of adversity sweep over his glittering yet frail habitation, he will find himself helpless and exposed. But even should he maintain such possessions throughout life, what satisfaction will they afford him in the hour of death? There is no abiding refuge in wealth and worldly success.





Will he find peace in health? Health has its place, and it should not be thrown away or despised, but it belongs to the body which is destined for dissolution, and is therefore perishable. Even should health be maintained for a hundred years, the time will come when the physical energies will decline and decay will overtake them. There is no abiding refuge in health.

Will he find refuge in those whom he dearly loves? Those whom he loves have their place in his life. They afford him means of practicing unselfishness, and thereby arriving at Truth. He should cherish them with loving care, and consider their needs before his own. But the time will come when they will be separated from him, and he will be left alone.
There is no abiding refuge in loved ones.



Will he find peace in this knowledge and sciences? Scripture fills an important place. As a guide it is good, but it cannot be a refuge, for one may know many sciences expertly, and yet be in sore conflict and unrest. The theories of men are subject to successive changes, and no limit can be set to the variety of textual interpretations. There is no abiding refuge in science.






Will he find peace in solitude? Solitude is good and necessary in its place, but he who courts it as a lasting refuge will be like one perishing of thirst in a waterless desert. He will escape men and the turmoil of the city, but he will not escape himself and the unrest of the heart. There is no abiding rest in solitude.



If, then, the seeker can find no refuge in pleasure, in success, in health, in family and friends, in sciences or in solitude, where shall he turn to find that sanctuary which shall give abiding peace?
Let him take refuge in righteousness. Let him fly to the sanctuary of a purified heart. Let him enter the pathway of a blameless, stainless life, and walk it modestly and patiently until it brings him to the eternal temple of Truth in his own heart.
He who has taken refuge in Truth, even in the habitation of a wise understanding and a loving and steadfast heart, is the same whether in pleasure or pain; wealth or poverty; success or failure; health or sickness; with friends or without; in solitude or noisy haunts; and he is independent of guide books and teachers, for the spirit of Truth instructs him. He perceives without fear or sorrow the change and decay which are in all things. He has found peace; he has entered the abiding sanctuary; he knows the Light that will never go out.

Inspired from James Allen’s book ‘light on life’s difficulties’

 

James Allen was a great man and writer. His words are deeper than any ever written. Though his works were written in the 1800s, they still resonate and inspire the soul. His writings have inspired me and helped to open up my mind about life, the self and truth. Never to be forgotten…

trapped in the ocean

It’s exactly like you being trapped underwater. You believe that, you’re stuck to the ocean floor and cannot float up unless something anchors you up. So a friend throws a yellow rope down for you to grip and lift you up. You with joy hold on tight and begin ascending. The higher you climb, the higher your hopes and anticipations. The journey is long to the surface and the friend gets tired and his/herself get weak. They loosen the rope and maybe drop it completely. You start plunging down again…

“NOOOOOO!!” you scream.

The pangs of anger, hurt, gloomy anticipation of returning to the darkness overwhelm you. No matter how hard you curse and swear the old sea floor is watching silently.

You begin to realize that screaming won’t help.

One of those days, you spot a red rope dangling above your head. AHA! “Yes, this is my chance” you exclaim!

You cautiously tug on the red rope. It is slightly unstable but you don’t care, just as long as you get up from this lonely abode. You begin to climb. You’re ascending at high speed. Wow! This is just great! So smooth flowing and fast! But the lover pulling you up with the red rope loses heart. Their hearts are possessed again by some other drowned soul. So they leave the rope limp and you being to plunge back down in darkness.

The anger comes back double the strength as before. You injure the plants around you. The water overhead becomes murky from your fury.

You lash about; cursing the misfortune you’re in.

No friends can pull you up

No lovers can pull you up

What will?

Family surely!

You await that green rope to drop over your head and it does.

“This time, it’s mum and dad, they’ll never let go! They’ll keep holding on until the end of time for me! They love me more than anyone else. The only humans that sincerely care.”

Childish elation fills your heart and as you scramble up the rope. Tears stream down your face ‘how grateful I am, how privileged I am’

It takes long for you to climb. Despite your relief you sense the rope strings getting flimsy and thin.

Every inch you ascend the rope gets more worn out.

‘Mum! Dad!’ you shout.

‘We’re holding on for you dear’ they shout back from above

‘Oh thank goodness!’ you heave

But mum and dad are getting old, frail and weak. They can’t pull you up like when you were a kid. Their hair has gone gray and their loving eyes have become enveloped in wrinkles.

You watch them struggling to pull you up

 Abruptly, the rope snaps. Parents are not here forever to pull you up.

You grieve…you’ve lost the only hope you had.

Tears aren’t enough now.

The doors have closed. The lonely ocean floor groans and continues to darken every advancing hour.

And you, alone…in grief.

WHY ME?! You scream

GOD!!! WHY ME?!

THIS ISN’T FAIR!!!

WHY GOD WHY?!

You spend the next few days with head cradled in your hands, imagining you were super man/woman…imagining you had all you ever wanted. Imagining you were supreme and all powerful.

But those dreams, burst, as surely as the bubbles of the ocean do.

Your heart has become bitter and cold. You don’t care about life anymore; in fact, you don’t care whether you get saved or not. Nothing seems to matter.

When family, friends and lovers can’t pull you up then who can?

The ocean itself?

The ocean is but a mass of water.

God?

But you’ve sworn and cursed. You’ve denied the blessings and were too busy thinking about how you can get out. You’ve been seeking yourself for too long now, how could God listen to you?

Try…

And you try.

“OH GOD…forgive me!  Forgive me…save me! If you save me, I will be forever thankful!”

You wait for a golden rope.

Or some mystical creature to dive in and lift you up into the sky

You look around you…nothing has changed.

The ocean floor sighs as usual. And you are more sunken than before.

‘It didn’t work!’ you exclaim, disappointed

‘I’ll try tomorrow.’

Nothing worked

‘I’ll try tomorrow I guess’

Nothing worked

‘I’ll try tomorrow’

This continued on for a week.

You’d look up at the vastness of the ocean above you and call out for God. But it didn’t work.

“YAAAA RAB!” You scream with impatience, “WHY ARE YOU NOT LISTENING TO ME?!”

Your voice echoed and returned back to you in waves.

You sat down on the ocean floor, obviously in anguish.

You take a look at your shoes, which have gone bluish green with algae colonies. You try to lift one foot up, it’s overwhelmingly heavy.

You begin to wipe away at the algae to reveal the shoe laces. Beginning to untie them you realize that your shoes were the ones making you heavy. You detach the right foot, and suddenly it has life of its own! It’s no longer stapled to the ocean floor. Hurriedly you detach the left foot.

You heart dances with joy! You begin to float…up up up.

Without a rope

Hope drenches every crevice of your soul! As you ascend up up up your feet nimbly propelling you. Your hands frantically waving and swooping.

This is like flying! You are free! Free and soon the air is going to hit your lungs.

UP UP UP!

Oh so close to air

Oh so close to freedom

For the first time in a long time you see sunlight drenching the holy water.

Sunlight!

But you are longing for that gulp of air.

You need air to breathe

So close!

Just a few meters to go!

Your skin is cyanosed with desire for air

Engorged neck veins pulsate

You claw at the water

‘YES YES YES, I’m close!!’ you cry out

Those feeble legs begin to tire

Those arm muscles begin to spasm

You’re not as young as you were before

Your heart begins to quiver

Your lungs bubble and splutter

You’re getting weaker and weaker

But desire is strong.

You just HAVE TO reach that top NOW

Consciousness is slipping away from you

Slipping away…

Your body struggles on

But somehow you can see your  body as separate from you.

You see yourself flailing in the powerful waters

How close you are to the surface

Oh so nearly.. nearly.. nearly

You observe your body spastically flutter

You observe your head lifting above the waves

You see the sun beaming down

Gasping for air, like a fish lifted out of water

Air air air!

Finally! Freedom!

Blue skies, green trees, pure air.

This is too good to be take in

But you never lived long to see it

Life is short.