Tuesday, August 25, 2015
Thursday, August 6, 2015
PODCAST #1 Rats falling in love with cats!
Check out the first (and hopefully not last) under-the-stairs podcast I just created. About an interesting topic of behavioural manipulation by the toxoplasmosis parasite
References:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1851063/
YES! Finally embedded audio into blogger. Unlocked: A whole new level of epicness!
This, boys and girls is many hours of trail and error, paying off alhamdulilah. Now enjoy the random deathnote song I uploaded.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Castle Moats
In my internal medicine rotation, I am the unfortunate holder of the 'coordinator' position. Despite how cumbersome it is, I have learnt something very interesting, all thanks to one particular boy. This colleague of mine, stands out clearly from the rest of the group. He sits in the corner of the room with his cigarette lit up, puffing smoke up in the air. He can't sit in one place for more than 10 mins. Restless and secluded from other people. He doesnt seem to have friends, yet he seems comfortable in his own presence. On external observation, he looks like a cool guy. The kind of guy who'd say "its either my way or the high way".
He stays quiet most of the time, but when he does speak, in that deep voice that seems to be coming out of his abdomen, he always has something aggressive to say. He will either threaten to do something because he objects (things like I'll burn up this whole hospital...that sounds like the solution") or he makes sarcastic remarks. His 'threats' are often just verbal and not any more than that, and oftentimes, ridiculous. He speaks aggressively yet when it actually comes to action, he isnt aggressive at all. In fact, he acts almost gentlemanly. I found it very strange. This guy was getting ego-pumps by being verbally tough and seeing the reactions of others. People would often stare at him, not quite sure if this guy was for real. Some would laugh nervously. Some would raise their eyebrows. And occasionally some would look him right in the eye and say "who the hell do you think you are speaking like that?"
He gets kicks from seeing people like this.
And what he actually is, is a tiny little chicken.
Personally, it would be easier for me to tell him to 'f***ing fix his attitude before I fix it for him"
I am not afraid of people like him because once upon a time, my surroundings were people like that. They were actually friends of mine too, who were like this. And perhaps I can admit, that I, was like this. It is absolutely nothing for me to deal with people like that. But what would it create?
It'd generate more aggression.
It'd fester further negative feelings. And could end in a fight.
To deal with such aggressive people in a similarly aggressive way is totally stupid.
The idea behind dealing with such people is to understand the mind of a bully. I have been privelaged enough to have dealt with alot of bullies and the thing is, to run towards them or to run away from them..both are counterproductive strategies.
The key is to understand some thing and I'll illustrate it by the example of the castle and moat.
Look at these beautiful castles. The UK is known for its grand castles. See how these castles are surrounded by a body of water. Those bodies of waters are known as moats. They were used as method to protect the castle from invasion. A primary warfare defense.
The enemies would have to cross these moats in order to invade or hurt the residents of the castle. By the time the enemies cross, the residents would have spotted the intruders and have slayed them with arrows. It was known that the weaker the residents of the castle, the bigger and deeper the moat. A castle that contained a weak and dainty princess often needed alot of protection for example. So that's the idea behind moats.
The weaker the castle, the deeper and wider the moat.
Same applies for the person. The weaker they are, the deeper and wider their defenses.
If you weren't weak, then why create such a massive deal of protecting your ego? A strong castle doesn't need a big moat because those who reside within it can fend off the intruders.
Bullies are essentially crumbling and vulnerable castles surrounded by massive moats in the form of aggression.
The only way you can get through to such people is to make them feel safe. Not physically safe, but rather make them feel that you will not bruise their friable soul, by hurting them or judging them harshly.
Because that is their biggest fear; that their granulation-tissue-like egos will become scathed and bleed by the cruelty of other people.
I found that firm kindness and non-judgementality of bullies often helps. It is also wise not to reinforce their agressive behaviour. The way we reinforce their behaviour is to react to them. So should they be verbally abusive or vulgar, the best thing is to act as if you hadn't heard a thing, as if what they just said had no significance what so ever. Neither scold them or laugh with them. This indifference will make them crumble just a little bit.
Act indifferent to their outburst, until they calm down...then proceed to talk to them firmly but at the same time with courtesy and allow them to express themselves. And when they do, do not judge. Acceptance is often the secret key to many many tattered hearts and minds.
We all, without exception yearn for acceptance.
We may never come to terms with this. But it is true of all human beings, we would literally die to be accepted.
He stays quiet most of the time, but when he does speak, in that deep voice that seems to be coming out of his abdomen, he always has something aggressive to say. He will either threaten to do something because he objects (things like I'll burn up this whole hospital...that sounds like the solution") or he makes sarcastic remarks. His 'threats' are often just verbal and not any more than that, and oftentimes, ridiculous. He speaks aggressively yet when it actually comes to action, he isnt aggressive at all. In fact, he acts almost gentlemanly. I found it very strange. This guy was getting ego-pumps by being verbally tough and seeing the reactions of others. People would often stare at him, not quite sure if this guy was for real. Some would laugh nervously. Some would raise their eyebrows. And occasionally some would look him right in the eye and say "who the hell do you think you are speaking like that?"
He gets kicks from seeing people like this.
And what he actually is, is a tiny little chicken.
Personally, it would be easier for me to tell him to 'f***ing fix his attitude before I fix it for him"
I am not afraid of people like him because once upon a time, my surroundings were people like that. They were actually friends of mine too, who were like this. And perhaps I can admit, that I, was like this. It is absolutely nothing for me to deal with people like that. But what would it create?
It'd generate more aggression.
It'd fester further negative feelings. And could end in a fight.
To deal with such aggressive people in a similarly aggressive way is totally stupid.
The idea behind dealing with such people is to understand the mind of a bully. I have been privelaged enough to have dealt with alot of bullies and the thing is, to run towards them or to run away from them..both are counterproductive strategies.
The key is to understand some thing and I'll illustrate it by the example of the castle and moat.
The enemies would have to cross these moats in order to invade or hurt the residents of the castle. By the time the enemies cross, the residents would have spotted the intruders and have slayed them with arrows. It was known that the weaker the residents of the castle, the bigger and deeper the moat. A castle that contained a weak and dainty princess often needed alot of protection for example. So that's the idea behind moats.
The weaker the castle, the deeper and wider the moat.
Same applies for the person. The weaker they are, the deeper and wider their defenses.
If you weren't weak, then why create such a massive deal of protecting your ego? A strong castle doesn't need a big moat because those who reside within it can fend off the intruders.
Bullies are essentially crumbling and vulnerable castles surrounded by massive moats in the form of aggression.
The only way you can get through to such people is to make them feel safe. Not physically safe, but rather make them feel that you will not bruise their friable soul, by hurting them or judging them harshly.
Because that is their biggest fear; that their granulation-tissue-like egos will become scathed and bleed by the cruelty of other people.
I found that firm kindness and non-judgementality of bullies often helps. It is also wise not to reinforce their agressive behaviour. The way we reinforce their behaviour is to react to them. So should they be verbally abusive or vulgar, the best thing is to act as if you hadn't heard a thing, as if what they just said had no significance what so ever. Neither scold them or laugh with them. This indifference will make them crumble just a little bit.
Act indifferent to their outburst, until they calm down...then proceed to talk to them firmly but at the same time with courtesy and allow them to express themselves. And when they do, do not judge. Acceptance is often the secret key to many many tattered hearts and minds.
We all, without exception yearn for acceptance.
We may never come to terms with this. But it is true of all human beings, we would literally die to be accepted.
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