Just
having another one of my breakthrough waterfalls.
Lately we have been feeling
this generalized dysphoria. It is a sort of polymorphic dread. Like reaching
your hands into a sack of unknown content and cautiously reaching down to
explore the contents tangibly, while experiencing a sickening lump in your
throat. You could be reaching into a sack of sweets and other benign confectioneries...but you could also be reaching into a morbid pit of
scorpions.
Or it’s like trying to find your way in an unfamiliar pitch-black room...you stand by the walls, eyes wide open yet nothing in view...you helplessly sense along the walls, becoming increasingly conscious of your entire body and coming vis-a-vis with its weakness and mortality. You realize your own senses aren’t enough.
This heightened awareness of one's own shortcomings is somewhat crippling. It is hypervigilance accompanied with loosening up...you become oblivious to the forces that pull you towards your demise. You are no longer aware of it, but these forces are dragging you slowly towards passivity, negativity, pessimism, surrender, anhedonia and an abominable indifference. Nothing matters anymore. You become more adherent to your 'comfort zone' unwilling to tolerate a little discomfort that may disturb the pristine laziness.
As long as you are oblivious...you are being drawn slowly right into the pits of this senseless state.. as a patient with oneiroid syndrome described; "a timeless, hateful, spaceless worsening of things"
The truth is...this void that one is shifting towards is universal. It acts equally upon all living things. Like passengers standing on an electric escalator propelling them in one direction, it’s inevitable...the only way to awaken from this stupor is to realize and to resist.
Yes, that electric escalator is sending endless vicious steps towards the predetermined destination...however you can choose to turn around and walk in the opposite direction...at a speed higher than the rate of newly forming steps. I once saw a child doing so and seeing that face exasperated at how she couldn’t beat the steps and get off the escalator. One must resist until senility overtakes and encapsulates them.
As long as one is alive one must resist and rebel against that demise. Resist coldness, resist negativity, resist passivity, resist spiritual frigidity, resist physical sloppiness, and resist judgment. All these activities/states arise because of one's lack of resistance. It takes effort to care, to realize God, to hope, to plan, to understand, to refrain from crude remarks and premature evaluations. It takes energy to rebel...everyone is going down the same lane...to truly live is to rebel. We shall not succumb to that ever flowing demise. At least, not today.
Or it’s like trying to find your way in an unfamiliar pitch-black room...you stand by the walls, eyes wide open yet nothing in view...you helplessly sense along the walls, becoming increasingly conscious of your entire body and coming vis-a-vis with its weakness and mortality. You realize your own senses aren’t enough.
This heightened awareness of one's own shortcomings is somewhat crippling. It is hypervigilance accompanied with loosening up...you become oblivious to the forces that pull you towards your demise. You are no longer aware of it, but these forces are dragging you slowly towards passivity, negativity, pessimism, surrender, anhedonia and an abominable indifference. Nothing matters anymore. You become more adherent to your 'comfort zone' unwilling to tolerate a little discomfort that may disturb the pristine laziness.
As long as you are oblivious...you are being drawn slowly right into the pits of this senseless state.. as a patient with oneiroid syndrome described; "a timeless, hateful, spaceless worsening of things"
The truth is...this void that one is shifting towards is universal. It acts equally upon all living things. Like passengers standing on an electric escalator propelling them in one direction, it’s inevitable...the only way to awaken from this stupor is to realize and to resist.
Yes, that electric escalator is sending endless vicious steps towards the predetermined destination...however you can choose to turn around and walk in the opposite direction...at a speed higher than the rate of newly forming steps. I once saw a child doing so and seeing that face exasperated at how she couldn’t beat the steps and get off the escalator. One must resist until senility overtakes and encapsulates them.
As long as one is alive one must resist and rebel against that demise. Resist coldness, resist negativity, resist passivity, resist spiritual frigidity, resist physical sloppiness, and resist judgment. All these activities/states arise because of one's lack of resistance. It takes effort to care, to realize God, to hope, to plan, to understand, to refrain from crude remarks and premature evaluations. It takes energy to rebel...everyone is going down the same lane...to truly live is to rebel. We shall not succumb to that ever flowing demise. At least, not today.
